Dale Carnegie said, “It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” His message was simple. The path to a peaceful, joyful and positive life begins when we accept responsibility for our thoughts. And, although we cannot control the people and situations around us, we can learn to catch and change our thoughts, and therefore our reactions to them. It is our thoughts that create our reactions and this determines whether our lives are peaceful or stressful.
To accept responsibility, self-awareness is crucial. We have to pay attention to the things we think about. There are no idle thoughts. As Napoleon Hill said, “thoughts are things”. This is because our thoughts become perceptions which turn into reactions. Our thoughts become behaviours which turn into outcomes. What we put our attention on, we become. Accepting responsibility for our outcomes and experiences starts with paying attention to what we think. Do our thoughts support what we wish to experience or do they contradict what we wish to experience? We are participating in creating our experiences; therefore it is important that we choose to entertain only the thoughts that match our desires.
In addition we must stop blaming the people and situations in our lives for how we feel. As James Allen once said, “circumstances do not define a man, they reveal him.” The people and situations in our lives do not cause our difficulties. It is our reactions to them. When we blame others for our feelings and reactions we become a dis-empowered victim. Only through looking at ourselves as the source of how we feel can we become empowered to grow and succeed.
Accepting responsibility doesn’t mean that we beat ourselves up or feel guilty about our reactions. This will only cause us to repeat our painful patterns. Thoughts and reactions are habitual and take a great deal of awareness and desire to change. When we catch ourselves in painful reactions and ask ourselves why we continue reacting in the way we do, we can begin the process of change, and then create the joy, peace and positivity we desire.
Bonnie Moehle is a Personal Coach, Speaker and Author in the field of self-development. For over a decade, she has been actively training individuals to achieve mastery and success both at work and at home. Bonnie empowers others to reach their greatest potential. She facilitates workshops nationally and has a private practice in Phoenix. For an appointment phone: 602-717-6228 or to order her book, “What is Happiness and Where Can I Get Some?” www.BonnieMoehle.com
